I’m not one to go chirping about “blessings in disguise.” I’m more the “watching for the other shoe dropping” type. Six weeks into it, I’ve declared the 2013-14 school year is going down in our family as The Year of Unconditional Surrenders.
No, we haven’t sold our belongings and become roving musical gypsies, although the suggestion was on the table. We didn’t convert to radical veganism although I deeply admire the conviction of my radical vegan friends. We still have three living, breathing, nearly inexhaustible children under our roof and K has not divorced me yet (4 months married).
We survived the complete upending our our lives when suddenly 1) it was the first day of school at NEW schools with all the angst and uncertainly therein, 2) our hot water line broke underneath the house, and 3) I was laid off from my job. All of these things brought equal torment and anathema to our lives.
What we did not so completely survive was the rapid collapse of the will and health of a tween daughter when her dreams of the perfect school adventure were smashed to crumbs. For the last several years, B has been known as “the easy one.” Never had to prompt her to do homework. She read and studied and sang in public and had a glorious attitude about school. She made friends easily, got good grades, practiced diplomacy and when that failed, got decently in trouble for defending herself and her girlfriends when accosted by a force more powerful than herself (4th grade boys) but definitely not tougher.
So what brought this little go-getter down? She got sick. Not once, not twice, but three times in the first month of school. It’s week six of school and she has logged 10 days absent. The best I can get out of doctors is “She needs to eat better” and oh, let’s pipe some more blood out of that arm and test it ninety-two times. Exhausted, distressed and completely disoriented with her new surroundings, poor B begged for a way out.
At first, I scolded. We aren’t a family of quitters. We don’t just stop because the work gets hard. Her response was to hide the teachers notes from me about the failing grades and the missed assignments. Stomach aches, not eating, sleeping for 12+ hours began to look more like stress than illness. Finally, I dragged her back to the pediatrician, who confirmed yet another strep infection and gently suggested that we slow things down for B.
Tomorrow B starts at the public elementary school, not a bad one by any means, but not the college prep school she had set her sights on. My friend Tracee weighed in with concerns about her own gifted 5th grader, who was also getting to the point where stress and failed expectations transform a happy little girl into anything but a kid. Depression, hopelessness, anxiety, loss and despair. What a gift, eh?
Tracee said, that’s just no way for a kid to be.
We get enough of that in adulthood, and sometimes, quitting what makes you miserable is the only path out of the darkness. All you grown ups out there, I bet you know exactly what I mean.
Never give up your right to be happy.
educating alexander 